we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
