Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
