I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
