My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
