I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
