I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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