I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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