Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
