when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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