This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
