I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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