My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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