ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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