And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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