guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
