i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
last night I used snow as a chaser
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
