I heard we made out
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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