omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Randomize
