God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
