I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
