tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
