I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
