The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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