I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
