she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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