It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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