think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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