I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
