we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
