so that wasnt chicken after all
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
