So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
