ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
