What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
