But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
