I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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