pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Someone came in the potted fern
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
