the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
