My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
