So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
