just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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