I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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