She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
