I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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