She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
