i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
