I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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