I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't deserve a penis
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
