Michael Bay diarrhea
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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