how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
