If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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