please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Randomize
